The remarkable thing about a successful ‘Hollywood marriage’ is that, contrary to popular belief, it is - in just about every sense - precisely that, a ‘Hollywood marriage’.

Many people look at show biz unions, which have escaped the usual fate of Hollywood marriages (which is so dramatically manifested by the mounting statistics in the California divorce courts) as being somehow different. They like to believe that these successful marriages are just like any marriage anywhere - but not like any marriage which carries a "Hollywood" label.

But they’re wrong - at least in the case of Jack and Marie Lord, who are looking forward to celebrating their twentieth anniversary.

"If anything," Jack said, "my wife has had more than most actors’ wives have had to put up with over the years. The fact that we have been happy and that our marriage works is due largely to the patience and faith she has always had despite," the star of Hawaii Five-0 smiled, "the problems I may have given her along the way."

In essence, what Jack is referring to is the way he spends most of his off-screen time. The big hitch in most Hollywood type hitchings is usually regarded as the inability of the performing partner to stop performing his extra-marital (in the professional sense) roles at home and to become a spouse.

The woe-begone wives who trek to the divorce courts lament that their movie-making or telegenic mates never spend any real time with them so they are always separated from their husbands by distance and emotion.

One would think that in Marie and Jack Lord’s case this was definitely not a problem. But that’s not true. "When I’m not working on the show," Jack stated, "I’m involved in a million and one other things."

So Jack’s home in Hawaii is not a nest of togetherness. As a matter of fact, there is a clear line of demarcation, which is easily observed when driving up to the house. There, on the terrace is Marie, busily draping material over a dress-maker’s dummy as she fits another garment together. ("I was once one of the frantically moving people you see on New York’s Seventh Avenue," she said smilingly. "Always in a rush to do something; always in a rush to get somewhere. When I retired, I left the hectic pace behind - but not my love for dress design or construction."

On the other side of the terrace, there’s an easel set up with paints, palette and brushes all ready for Jack’s use. He’s anxiously, yet patiently, waiting or precisely the right light, so he can catch a favorite scene forever. "Here in Hawaii," he said, "nature plays out her full range of beauty - there is soft moonlight, glaring sunlight, comfortable twilight - name it and it’s yours."

It is obvious that while Jack and Marie are technically together, they lead separate lives and follow separate pursuits that fulfill them and give them the artistic rewards they’re seeking. Their real togetherness is shared in the intimate areas of their lives - where it really counts.

"Togetherness," one marriage counselor once snorted, "is one of the worst distortions of the marital relationship I’ve ever read. Who says a wife has to go to the football game with her husband when she hates the sport? Any man of intelligence and sensitivity will know that she’s doing it for him and he’s bound to develop guilt feelings about it. And who says that a man must become involved in one of her pet projects? Unless he really and truly wants to do so, he will always feel like a stranger among her friends and, eventually, she will sense his presence at these gatherings in the same way.

"People should be permitted to develop their own interest, their own pursuits, event heir own sets of friends if necessary. It won’t keep them apart. On the other hand, each will have enriched his or her own life which, in turn, will enrich their lives."

We don’t know whether the Lords have the same feelings about ‘shared time’ that this veteran counselor does, but it is apparent that they do practice very much of the same tenets - even to the point where Marie Lord doesn’t always expect her mate to make his way home to her when the day’s shooting on Hawaii Five-0 is over. As a matter of fact, she would be a very surprised woman if he did.

The difference, however, between Marie’s acceptance of the fact that her man doesn’t make tracks for their sumptuous shack each night and other women’s anxieties about their husband’s denials of domestic obligations, is that Marie knows something some less aware women don’t.

When Jack Lord does roll home after an evening out, or a Sunday away from her, Marie knows that his return to their nuptial bower is usually one fraught with the satisfaction of his having scored another coup in his constant quest of outside conquests.

But this is not the sort of conquest that goes into ego-building of some men who are obviously in need of proving their masculinity. When Jack Lord totes up his day away from home and reckons his accomplishments, he can set them down in the sort of little black book that Marie would never be afraid to read.

For Jack, actor extraordinaire, these successful forays add to his already growing legend as a businessman par excellence. And what he is putting in his little black book are the kinds of statistics about figures that any ledger would be proud to boast of.

Where does Jack Lord go when he doesn’t go home to his wife? Let him tell you.

"I’m up at four in the morning," he said. "Marie has already been up and hour ahead of me and has prepared my breakfast. Then I study my lines while I’m having coffee, jog along the beach for a while and by six A.M. I’m at the studio where I work - usually until seven in the evening."

But, despite his heavy schedule, he doesn’t always rush back home. Therefore, Marie doesn’t always prepare dinner. The only time she definitely knows that she will share her table with her husband is at breakfast. For the rest she relies upon his telephone calls to tell her whether or not to put the spare ribs on.

But usually there will be some meetings Jack will have to attend for a few hours or so. For example, he recently became involved in a project to build structures in Diamond Head. He encountered a great deal of hostile reactions from folks who were angry that their environment was suddenly becoming a commercial venture. "As a matter of fact," Jack said, "Richard Boone (who is one of the Islands greatest admirers and had once thought of creating a series similar to Jack’s Hawaii Five-0) wished us an early death. I mean, our show," he hastened to explain. "It’s not only that the show is a success but the fact that because it is, we have expanded our studio facilities here and a lot of people aren’t that anxious to see buildings go up near their expensive beach shacks."

Jack is also involved in an organization called "Direction Sports" and gives a good deal of his time to this venture - sometimes canceling money-making business meetings to attend conferences concerned with this particular charity organization. "It’s a privately funded thing," he said, "launched by Tulley Brown.    Brown is a Los Angeles sales executive who thought of this unique way to help underprivileged youngsters find their own identity through sports. The commercials offered on radio for "Direction Sports (usually given free air time by sympathetic broadcasting execs), point out that only one out of every ten youngsters in a ghetto has a chance of leaving it later on. But with adeptness in sports, his odds are increased enormously. One line in the commercial goes something like this…"Instead of being lost in the crowd, become someone - become John Jones, a basketball player, a football player - someone." And Jack Lord is well aware of how important such a search for identity is.

"Although I had all the privileges any kid could want growing up, I always had a need to find out more about myself and what and who I was. I found outlets for this search in my painting, in my acting in any one of the number of things I took an interest in. If I could sense this need, with everything I had going for me, imagine what it must be like to be a kid growing up as a faceless, sometimes nameless, part of a crowd, with no direction at all to follow."

Recently, one of the airlines flew fifteen Los Angeles children to Hawaii for a week as guests at the Hawaiian Village. And handsome Jack was there to greet them, entertain them and talk to each and every one of them personally. He listened to the youngsters’ hopes, dreams and often, disillusionments. In each case he offered valuable advice that he hopes will have some effect. "If you keep on trying to reach these children," he remarked, "you’re bound to have some success with…" he paused, "Well, even one child who has a chance to make it is better than no child at all."

Jack Lord also has extensive real estate holdings and owns several apartment units in one of the most luxurious condominiums ever constructed on the island.

But more than that he is responsible for creating a "Hollywood" that may yet turn out to be the place where series producers go to shoot their shows. That may shake up real estate agents in Los Angeles but it’s definitely meeting with a lot of acceptance from their competitors in the lush tropical paradise - our fiftieth state.

"The weather here is idea," Jack sated. "Even when it rains it’s great and it never rains too long. The sun always comes out."

But what really makes Jack Lord’s approach to his business life so different is his strong streak of perfectionism which has always propelled him. Where another man might simply consult his accountants or business advisor and decide whether or not to invest based upon their estimations and evaluations, Jack explained, "I have to see for myself what’s going on and I have to satisfy myself before I make any kind of decision."

Jack is definitely a perfectionist. In fact, he’s destroyed many of his own paintings because he didn’t like them. And the museums and other private collectors who do have some of his creations consider themselves lucky that they were able to get hold of them before critical minded Jack could toss them on to the bonfires at his luaus. "I’ve walked through some of the places where they’re hanging, Jack admitted, "and I’ve been tempted to ask for them back now that I see I could have done better."

He’s no less a hard taskmaster on himself when he’s in front of the cameras. "I used to think that Jack Lord had a short fuse where his temper was concerned," one actor told us. "I’d watch him on Hawaii Five-0 and think ‘oh boy, don’t ever cross him’ then when I got a chance to work with him, I learned the truth. It’s the character he plays that’s edgy, and Jack brings to his role all of the nuances only a skilled actor can. When he’s under those lights, standing in front of the cameras, he becomes the person other only play."

As for his perfectionism, his colleague continued, "Well, all I know is that the cursing I did under my breath each time he asked for a great scene to be reshot because he didn’t like it forced me to do something I never knew I could do - give a better performance than I have ever given. And," the thesp smiled, "when you watch yourself on the screen later, and realize that a lot of other people are seeing dimensions in you that you never exposed before, it’s a nice feeling."

So it goes without saying that when Jack Lord is involved in a business venture, he can’t help but get involved all the way. He simply can’t take telephone calls at home when his representatives are in the middle of a negotiation. He has to be there - in person - to do all of the negotiating himself.

Even when it comes to buying a lot or a building, Jack won’t rely on surveyors’ reports or real estate experts. He goes to the area and personally examines everything - from the way the plumbing has been put in to how the building he plans for it can enhance the landscape without overwhelming it. "I love Hawaii," Jack declared, "and I want to preserve its natural beauty while it’s being developed."

His artistic sense of beauty and his deep appreciation of nature’s bounty impels him towards this end. He is distressed when he sees what men, who only thought of money, have already done to the natural contours of the land. The downtown areas of some of Hawaii’s cities are ugly. Jack Lord doesn’t want to carry that blight into areas still untouched but which are destined to be developed.

Where else does Jack Lord go when he doesn’t go home to his wife? "I have a boat, " he said. "Owning it is a lifetime dream come true for me. When I was younger, I went to sea for several years. Now, when I can, I take my boat out and just enjoy the marvelous "oneness" of man with the elements out there."

Occasionally Marie will join him on these ventures. But even then she knows better than to intrude on his communications with nature. It is his - and only his - moment and cannot be shared by any other human being, even a much loved wife.

Those who see the Lords traveling on separate roads throughout life without ever touching, have lost the essential truth of their relationship.. These detractors fail to see that even apparently separated by roads do meet - in infinity. It may only be a mathematical theory, but so far no one has ever come along to disprove it. Therefore, while these two - Jack and Marie - appear to be apart, they know that where it really matters - in their own point of infinity - they do come together.

Where does Jack Lord go when he doesn’t go home to his wife - many places - and sometimes for long periods of time. But he always does come home. And when he does he knows that his wife has always been aware of where he has been - really been.

"Marie," Jack said, "is the stabilizing factor in my life. If I hadn’t met her, I would probably have gone on forever sailing somewhere with no real purpose, no real direction. Marie gives me purpose, gives me direction. Whatever I do and wherever I go, I do and go knowing what I’m about - knowing that it is Marie who is guiding me there - and home again."

As we said, a successful Hollywood marriage is rare - but not impossible. All it takes to make it work is for the two people involved to realize that marriage requires more than love. The couple must have mutual respect for each other as human beings. And it is this element, above all others, that serves as the true and unbreakable bond that keeps them together forever.